in the night.

Nighttime, sort of intoxicating isn’t it? It alters your brain in ways we don’t understand. Things you would do during the night you would be embarrassed to during the day. Take that shot, smoke that weed, kiss that stranger, all things you would feel guilty about become normal under the shadows of nighttime. Is it because we feel like no one can see our wrong doings? Who knows.

Another question comes to mind. What keeps us lying awake at these late hours of the night? Is it the uncomfortable mattress we sleep on? Or is it that flickering light coming from you cable box that just wont stop. Or could it be our minds overwhelming us with the thoughts of tomorrow. The fear that you will go another day not having the confidence in yourself that everyone has in you. You feel as though these people should just leave you because you feel like you cant live up to your expectations. Their expectations. Where does all of this self-doubt come from? Is it truly the fault of that friend who dragged you around and made you feel meaningless? Or would it have happened anyway? All these questions. No real answers. This brings me to my final question. Am I writing this for me? or am I writing it in hope that maybe one of my friends will come across it and maybe discover what’s underneath all of the fake smiles, or maybe that I will get the courage to show them because I am in need of some pity at that moment. Who knows, all I know is that id only write something like this under the intoxication of nighttime.